Here we are once again, the end of the day should be asleep yet now. Drunkeness surrounding me, i'm the only 100% sober person here. Its almost isnt fun anymore. This is when i sit alone in a room and just listen to the music and let it absorb me. Being around drunk people makes me do this, makes me really enjoy the silence. As the night unfolds so does the plot to yet another story the next morning. Maybe being sober can be a good thing...yet at the same time not. I always feel like the bad guy in the end, ruining something, but i guess that happens when You're mature

A quote from a book keeps running through my brain. "I tread an inner labryinth, trusting in my choice." i'm not sure why its sticking with me but on and off it'll pop into my thoughts. Maybe its a sign, or an epiphany. Who knows really? Everything is finally falling into place. I've graduated into maturity, trusting my choices. Everytime i do something always happens but this time i feel complete and not depressed. Everything will be perfect.

Excitement begins to boil in my veins. 6 days until Bill leaves for 18 days, 16 days until i'm in TN, 29 until school starts and 37 until Bill and I have been married for two years. Everything is starting to unfold into a master plan. I've turned a new leaf and have lots of things in order for life. I'm excited to even start rambleing. From the outer edge of space is where i feel like i'm traveling everything seems to now be slowing down to a tinkering faucet. The calming sound harasses my soul wit. orgasmic proportions. Life as i know it is changing and i'm not scared anymore

The prelude is silent yet the orchestra is ready to play. The audience is in a silent awe. The cast is on stage waiting for the curtain to raise and the show to begin. No one knows what the director had in store for this audience. He raises his hands, the curtain rises and the most beautiful note ever played rolls from the tips of the instruments. It hypnotizes them and the play takes a turn into a valley of neon colors and floating creatures. The play climaxes and the audience is on the edge of their seats. The hero dies and audience is stunned. The curtain closes and the play comes to an end. The audience erupes like a violent volcanco. The clapping slowly ceases and the audiences goes to bed to dream of the hero and his fair lady together in death...

[Blankness] here i sit with a blank canvas before me, a world of wonders, questions, amazements and possibilities. Everything seems to be falling into a plan, and hopefully all issues get settled over the next year or so. I'm actually surprised that all is going so well hopefully it continues and life blossoms into a beautiful creation that inspires and encourages those around me. Tomorow is just on of many steps towards my goals and wishes. Someday i will be debt free from everyone and thing. When that day comes i'll buy my self something pretty i guess but until then i hope everyone sleeps well under this star spekeled sky. M.Milly

[Freedom] Here i am laying in bed mind wandering like a child learning to walk. My soul weakens everyday and slowly i'm losing myself into a vast mirage of vanity. I've come to at least one decison. A decison that will affect my life forever. I have to get out of debt. I've decided that the only way i'll be able to undepress my self is to set myself free of my debt. Its my own damn fault its as bad as what it is. I had the chance to pay everything off but didnt. I was childish and i'm ready to put the past away. I hope that the future is nicer than my past and if there are any suggestions please let me know. Its needed bad. I'd feel like a newly emerged butterfly who is spreading out my wings to fly. Until i can fly then i'll stay in an cacoon. M.Milly

[Evening Reflections] i think i've decided every evening i'm going to write something on here at least something to keep people interested. I doubt anyone will read any of there but i do write blogs for everyone to read and reflect upon. Life as a general is going to be difficult from here on, i know this as fact.My horoscope says there is going to be a big change in my life and i just need to relax. What is relaxing anyways? Relaxation doesn't exist in my life. I'm always on the go it is terrible most days.But I guess i've got to learn that i need to stop dwelling on problems and push ahead into the great unknown. I mean whose going to discover it if its not me? Maybe one day ill sneak away into a jungle or something but till then good night. M.Milly

[Greatness] It isnt found over night it is studied and thought highly about before being accomplished. Sort of like the decison to go back [to school] you think about it over and over before saying yes i'm going to do it or on i cant. Right now i'm in a rut, i've decided to go back to school to get a degree but i dont really know what to major in. Right now its massage therapy...i really dont want to do it but its good money. Truthfully i really wanna go to culinary school. It would be a dream come true but i cant have everything i want. I'm almost at a loss because its between money and passion. On one side i love cooking and so forth but the other am i good enough for a culinary school. I have one semester to decide what i'm going to do no more.

[daydreaming] lately it has been so difficult to fall asleep at night. Like tonight its almost two in the morning and I'm still awake from the day before. I found a trick that is far better than counting sheep that I'm going to share with you. When i was younger my dad would tuck me and my sister into bed and tell us to have sweet dreams. One night i asked, "how do i make sweet dreams daddy?" he replied "all you have to do is close your eyes and play a story in your head until you fall into a dream world for sweet dreams" from that night on i used that trick and its still going strong. So when you cant sleep just play a story in your head and youll surely fall asleep pretty quick. -Sleep well - M.Milly

Blog Virginity

Here we go....First post on here ever...[[everyone looks in awe]] Yep now I'm officially a blogger! Well, only if I get on here often enough and remember to write something once in a while.

I guess the first blogs usually are a lets get to know the blogger...well not for me...If you want to get to know me you can just send me a message and ask what you want to know but I'm not going to throw it all in here at once for the whole world to see.

But I guess with all the excitement this is where this ends from here on who knows...maybe the stars or the ocean or possibly just sleep...

M.Milly